Prime Video’s New Bounty Hunter Killing Demons Series “The Bondsman” Is So Unserious

I wish I was joking, but I’m not, so here’s my quick review of “The Bondsman” episodes 1 & 2 …

Now that I’ve rambled on and on about meeting Aldis Hodge at “The Bondsman” TV premiere, shall we jump into this review and talk about the actual show, baby? Prime Video’s new horror series starring Kevin Bacon is about a bounty hunter killing demons, and I have thoughts!

And by thoughts, I mean I barely cared about the plot once I saw Aldis Hodge in the flesh. But again — I did take notes, so let’s at least go over those?

I got to watch the first two episodes of “The Bondsman” before they released, and baby, I’m still not sure how I feel about it.

Okay, I’m lying — for the sake of being nice. I do know how I feel about it.

And I …

Maybe I missed something, but The Bondsman Episode 1, “Pot O’Gold“, starts off rocky …

Despite white horror stories not being my main squeeze, I was excited to see what Kevin Bacon would bring to the table as a bounty hunter. I’ve seen a few shows about bounty hunters now, and I’ve loved each one.

But when the show finally started, I was confused about the backstory and what was supposed to be happening. I knew that Kevin Bacon was a bounty hunter who died and was brought back to life to hunt and kill demons. But it all felt so very fake … and SO freaking unserious.

Like … he literally dies, wakes up, immediately lights a cigarette, and goes right back to doing what he was doing beforehand. Like nothing ever happened! Who the hell dies and thinks, yeah … let’s go back to WORK!??

I know they said this was supposed to be a horror-comedy, but none of this sh*t was funny! My mans duct-taped his bullet wound! Big hole in his throat … just covered in duct tape. Like … WHAT?!

Maybe if he was Black, it woulda been funnier because they say Black people use duct tape for everything. But this series just feels so unserious!

And The Bondsman Episode 2 “Valacor” didn’t make things much better …

However, I do have to say, the second episode kicks off with the most hilarious song choice for a demon pastor, so I’ll give them credit for that! But that’s as funny as this thang gets.

And when his mama gets involved, things get even wackier. Ma’am found out her pastor was a whole demon and said, “Well, I hope he’s feeling better this morning.” Ma’am! Be so f*cking for real right now! He is a DEMON! She acting like he forgot to eat dinner, and was just hangry! Baby!

Then she got in the car like she was about to clock in for demon duty.

Girl, why are you here??!

Listen by this point, I was just ready for it to be over. Not because it was scary, because it wasn’t (it’s Blumhouse, so it’s horror-lite), but because I was just… bored. I don’t think I’ll be tuning in to the rest of this series.

So yeah, final verdict?

This show just isn’t for me!

But meeting Aldis Hodge totally made the experience worth it. Would I watch more episodes? Definitely not. But would I suffer through the entire series just to be in the same room as Aldis again? Absolutely.

If what I mentioned above sounds funny to you, then I’d say totally check this one out. But if you’re anything like me and completely annoyed by shows that make even fiction hard to believe … sit this one out baby.

Now, if you need me, I’ll be manifesting more matching outfits with my fave celebs and an interview with Aldis for whatever he works on next. Because Cross on Prime was actually GREAT!

Rating: 2.5/5