When I first saw the trailer for Netflix’s new Desperados movie, I thought it was cute! So how the hell did it end up being so god damn lame, I have absolutely no freaking clue!
But the good news is that I made it ALL the way to the end, and I recommend you do the same if you intend on getting the full experience. But before you do hit play, here’s my full review of the new Desperados Netflix movie.
Desperados Netflix Movie Review
The new Netflix movie, Desperados, feels like it’s desperate for laughs.
If you’re not familiar with Netflix’s new Desperados movie, it’s about a “panicked” young woman (Nasim Pedrad) and her two best friends (Anna Camp & Sarah Burns) who fly to Mexico to delete an incredibly disrespectful, but yet still boring as hell email she sent to her new boyfriend. On arrival, they run into her former beau (Lamorne Morris), who soon gets caught up in their frantic scheme.
And let me tell you! This thang is a mess.
First of all, the beginning is boring AF! The trailer honestly made this movie look way better than it really is.
(So shout out to whoever made the trailer because ya did a damn good job, my friend!)
However, did these 3 women actually fly ALL the way to Mexico just to delete an email THEY sent? Yes, yes they did! Why?
I haven’t the faintest idea!
It’s not like the man was proposing or anything. They had only dated for awhile! Lord! But I guess that’s the point of the story right? She’s DESPERATE for love. Just like the way this movie was desperate for laughs!
Not even the email they sent was funny! And what’s up with the whole Dolphin dick scene?
S M F H!
This whole movie felt like a whitewashed trip to Mexicano where everyone tried too hard to be funny.
Sadly I had high hopes for this.
I needed a good Latina ‘Girls Trip’! I wanted this to be cute, and funny, and silly.
I wanted it to sweep me off my feet and take me away for an hour so I could pretend I was on vacation in Mexico with them.
But Karen and them stole my joy, with their desperate attempts to get some man (who she didn’t even REALLY like in the first place) attention while “friend-zoning” the man who would have actually been perfect for her.
And it’s such a bad representation of single women.
Like I know I “need” a man, but never ever, will I ever, EVER need a man that bad in my entire life! Like you mean to tell me, she was SO desperate for love that she was willing to shock herself REPEATEDLY on barbed wire, just to delete this email?
Why are we pretending that women are this desperate for attention?
And the lack of humor in this thang is what really makes this worse. Because if it was actually funny, then I’d probably laugh the desperate single woman stereotype off, but it ain’t funny enough for me to ignore the message you’re putting out into the world!
Cause ain’t no way I’m shocking myself to delete an email! You gon’ tell me there’s NO other men in the world?
It ain’t like they’ve been dating for years and they were on their way down the aisle!
And like … would an apology have been too much for her?
Couldn’t she simply stay her ass in whatever city she was in, and just say well … I was drunk, and I thought you ghosted me, I’m sorry. Guess not right?
That wouldn’t make for great TV, huh?
But hey, the ending was cute, so there’s that!
I mean, it ends in a cliche sort of way, and after about an hour of torture, it becomes a bit more bearable and cute.
But I mean you have to GET to the good stuff at the end, so like yeah … I don’t know how many folks would be willing to sit through ALL of this just to see the ending.
(Who the hell am I kidding! We all sat through the entire A Fall From Grace movie, we can definitely sit through this.)
However, once you do get towards the end, Desperados does become more enjoyable. I like the emotions at the end, and how cute she was with her other guy.
But this is the second movie I’ve seen this year so far with a REALLY crazy chick, who just wants to be loved for who she is, and then ends up having someone fall for the real her. (The Wrong Missy is the first one in case you’re wondering.)
So maybe Netflix is tryna tell us, crazy girls, something? Who knows! All I know is that I shouldn’t have to cringe through half of a movie to start liking it towards the end.
But I’m sure what you really wanna know is … would I recommend watching Desperados on Netflix?
I guess if you’re bored and you have time to spare, then why not?
Just know it’s not a GREAT movie.
But if it’s late, and you’re bored, you can totally watch this. Maybe pour yourself a drink while you’re at it?
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