Thanks to Hulu, ’cause a b*xch don’t even have regular tv channels anymore, I legit live on streaming apps now, I got to watch episode 2 of Abbott Elementary and I am super excited to share my initial thoughts via this live recap.
If you haven’t started watching Abbott Elementary yet, I’m gon’ need you to stop, drop, and roll yo ass on over to Hulu and watch this because it is HE-LA-RE-US!
(Hilarious people! Damn!)
Here’s my review of Abbott Elementary episode 1 in case you think I’m joking.
Anddddd, here are …
34 Thoughts I Had While Watching Abbott Elementary Episode 2
Spoiler Alert – If you haven’t seen episode 2 of Abbott Elementary yet, this recap will spoil things a bit. I omitted names so you don’t know who is who. But if you loathe all kinds of spoilers, bookmark this joint and wait until you’ve seen the episode.
- Jeezus lord! “Diction” or ‘dick’-shun sis?
- What’s wrong with this woman??? How you order a chipotle bowl handsomely? Actually never mind … I think I know.
- This better not be her man!!!
- Oh f*ck over 10 years? Noooooo!
- He’s not good! As an artist or a boyfriend sis!
- Damn she giving him her car AND her breakfast??? She not too bright for a teacher.
- Look it’s bae!
- That gold tooth bothering me!
- He ain’t got no show sis, he trash!!
- Not the janitor going fishing!!! Stopppp! Sir you supposed to be working not fishing!
- This bih scared of walking down the hallway, because of a few shaky lights, but saw The f*cking Shinning? I can’t! Make it stop!
- Not the principal calling her teacher “nerd”.
- Mmmmm look at bae. I really gotta stop before Tyler accidentally read one of these recaps and see my thirsty ass comments.
- WTF?!! That’s hilarious! I sweartagawd I hate parents! And I’M a parent! But as someone who also works in schools, good lord!
- Not her telling him, “we don’t wanna get sticky, now do we”! Why! Is she allowed to creep like this as his boss? This acceptable now in 2022? Cause why I had to ignore my cute workers and she get to just drool all up on him like this.
- Nah … I know I said I’d stop with the thirsty comments, but he’s really foine now! WTF!!!
- Jeezus this girl gon’ die tryna fix these lights!!
- This shit is hilarious! Like for real!
- Not all these classes in the gym! They actually pretty calm for some kids who in a gym though!
- Not the lunch ladies mad cause she says hello!!! I can notttttt! Why everybody hating on my good sis Janine!
- B*xch gon use her lunch to fix the lights she just broke?! The lights she broke WHILE trying to fix them in the first place!!! Girl please just go eat and sit yo ass down. PUHLEEZE!
- Why he gotta get his nails done to sit!? See why I stopped going to Asian nail salons? Okay that’s not really why, I just like being proud that I can actually afford to go to a Black nail salon once a month now. Whew Chile!
- Sis really doing her nails at a salon during lunch! And I had a coworker who literally would do the same! CRAZY!
- Of course sis do her nails every two weeks but can’t drop her kid to school before 9am! Don’t make me mad now!
- Sis definitely fainted cause she ain’t eat all f*cking day, it’s hot AF, and she keep worrying about every god damn thing! Is sis me? F*ck!
- Not sis waking up in the god damn nurses office while all the kids outside playing in the fire hydrant!
- It’s Pandora’s box, not Panera’s box sis! Hilarious! Damn now I want some Panera. How much they paid for that name drop??
- Awww I remember when I was scared to talk to parents! I ain’t no more! Now I’m like … what’s her number, lemme call sis and tell her you not in class, try me! My have I grown.
- Awwwww did he just ask her to get something to eat? So cute. I could cry! Cry cause he not asking me TF! Kidding. Just kidding.
- Yo his f*cking face!!!! I just f*cking screamed out loud because OMG that was funny AF! He FINALLY mustered up the courage to ask sis out and someone gon’ have the NERVE to invite them damn selves. I know he’s tight! I’m not though, mad that is, cause no, don’t date him, that’s my boo.
- Nah I ain’t never laughed so damn hard at someone rolling they eyes before.
- After school crew my ass! Go the f*ck home bro!
- She’s such a creep!!!!
- Not him with YET ANOTHER girl tryna get some! Jeezus! Noooo, what are y’all not understanding??? He’s mine! Someone put me in season 2 please.
I’m kidding y’all. Okay I’m not. Quinta if you see this, throw me in Season 2 girl! I’m ready for my acting debut. But nah this was cute and it’s STILL hilarious and I love that for them, for me! We needed this show. I needed this show!
Anywho, that’s it for this week!
Catch new episodes of Abbott Elementary every Wed on Hulu.
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