“Abbott Elementary” Episode 1 Recap: 32 Thoughts I Had While Watching On Hulu

Thanks to Hulu, ’cause a b*xch don’t even have regular tv channels anymore, I legit live on streaming apps now, I got to watch episode 1 of Abbott Elementary and I am super excited to share my initial thoughts via this live recap.

Abbott Elementary is about a group of dedicated, passionate teachers, and a slightly tone-deaf principal, who find themselves thrown together in a Philadelphia public school. And despite the odds stacked against them, they are determined to help their students succeed in life.

And I absolutely love it! So here are …

32 Thoughts I Had While Watching Abbott Elementary Episode 1

Spoiler Alert – If you haven’t seen episode 1 of Abbott Elementary yet, this recap will spoil things a bit. I omitted names so you don’t know who is who. But if you loathe all kinds of spoilers, bookmark this joint and wait until you’ve seen the episode.

1. This is supposed to be funny but it’s reality and, omg, this is the comedy I wanna write.
2. Pause … where’s bae?
3. Oh god, baby shark!
4. Not baby shark talkin’ bout, “back that ass up”. *chokes on laughter*
5. Janine needs to shut TF up! Please?
6. Not “bye mommmm”. I can’t!
7. Wardrobe did good! Like really good y’all!
8. Ahhhh, buying food at the corner store! Is this the first time I’m hearing the words “corner store” in a tv show?
9. He shook out the rug and all his asthma kids went to the hospital? Jeezus help them.
10. Can’t get aides, can’t get new rugs! What TF CAN they get then? Ugh!
11. This principal doesn’t give me principal vibes though. But maybe that’s the whole point?
12. Yayyyy bae! Finally!! He’s just a sub though.
13. Omg, she thought he was a stripper? I mean he’s foine but damn!
14. Omgggg that’s how she became principal?!!
15. Nah, this bathroom scene is wild!
16. Is she interrupting her class to look over her email? *rolls eyes*
17. She’s only trying to “help” so they won’t report the incident! I just … I can’t!
18. Why did Gregory get a shout-out? What TF for? He ain’t do nothing but stand there and be pretty sis.
19. She got $3k and bought a new sign?? Is she mad?
20. Oh shit, the emails to the superintendent went back to the principal! I f*cking can’t with this right now!
21. Not her calling him “Hershey Kiss”.
22. Omgggg the kid that’s supposed to be at lunch! I can NOT!
23. Everyone is missing lunch!!! Am I the only one that’s mad right now?
24. It shouldn’t be a bad thing to care about the kids! But it always feels like it.
25. Teachers definitely do miss lunch for foolishness, I’m sure. And that f*cking sucks!
26. The rug is softer than the bed at home! He’s going through shit! That’s why she needs a new rug!!! I’m about to cry!
27. Sometimes we’re first parents! Ain’t that the truth sis!
28. And it’s not for the money!! Never!! Teachers don’t get paid enough for it to “be about the money” bruh.
29. Teachers were gonna put the money in to buy her a rug! *cries*
30. Noooo, not a love interest between these two!! I like him!! Like I’m in the god damn story. *rolls eyes* But nah, seriously, Tyler could get it.
31. That’s a nice rug though. Shittttt. Glad we finally got one.

Whew chile was episode 1 a roller coaster of emotions! I mean, I sure as hell laughed though. It is a bit close to home though, so it’s definitely emotional for me to watch.

But I can’t freaking WAIT to see where this goes next! I’ll be back to “recap” each episode, once they finally release them!

But until then go watch this!

Abbott Elementary is now streaming on Hulu!