Okay … so I saw “Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3” a few days before it was released in theaters, and I’ve been holding off from publishing my review since then … because as you guys know, I’m not a hardcore Marvel fan! So I’ve been trying to stifle my disappointment until everyone had time to see the film for themselves. But now I think it’s time I share my thoughts. Mainly because someone on Twitter asked. Ugh. I almost got away with not publishing this.
First, let me say, now that I’ve started watching Marvel movies more often … I’ve noticed there are different kinds of Marvel fans. There are those who love the hardcore, violent, I mean action-packed titles, like “Avengers: End Game“, “Spider-Man: No Way Home“, and even “Doctor Strange In The Multiverse of Madness“. And then there are the weirdos, like me … who love the silly, fun, completely foolish titles like “Thor: Love And Thunder”, “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania“, and even the “Ms. Marvel” series.
I can still hear those goats screaming.
Now, there’s no “right” way to be a Marvel fan, so it doesn’t matter which end of the spectrum you fall on. I love you all. I’ve just noticed that it’s almost always so easy to tell who will like what when Marvel releases new films and tv shows, depending on what they usually prefer, e.g. action vs humor. Anywho, here’s my “Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3” review.
Full “Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3” Movie Review
Spoiler Alert – If you haven’t seen “Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3” yet, this review will spoil things a bit. So if you loathe all kinds of spoilers, you may want to bookmark this joint and wait until you’ve seen the movie. If you don’t care, then keep reading!
With that said, the moment “Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3” ended, my disappointment sank in.
My tween daughter got up excited, and I felt completely underwhelmed — with no idea as to why. But I was left with this unsettling feeling deep down inside that I just couldn’t shake. That’s when I realized we were both on different spectrums. The first thing she let escape her little tween mouth was — “This was so much better than Ant-Man”.
And yes, the betrayal still stings, but it was at that moment that I knew.
This would be the first time, in what feels like a very long time, that I would feel like a Marvel outcast again because I immediately knew that the rest of the world would react just as my 11-year-old did. This also meant that my disappointment would go unheard by the rest of the world filled with fans who were waiting for this very kind of movie. I’ve seen you guys cringing at the films that I genuinely loved, so I get it. It’s okay. Your wait did not go in vain. This one’s for you.
However … there’s this one thing … I refuse to overlook.
So yah — I held off from being the party pooper this time.
But the honest truth is, I didn’t enjoy “Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3” as much as I thought I would! They’re an eclectic bunch, so I went into this one with the idea that I would for sure enjoy their weird little “send-off” party, but alas I did not.
Maybe it was the negative emotional connection I had with the film? Due to the way they ever so nonchalantly make the focus of this piece a dying, physically and mentally abused, raccoon, whose backstory pulls at your heartstrings — leaving you angry at those who harmed him. While leaving the story of what looked like approximately 50 little human children, who were kidnapped, and also possibly abused, with no real meaning, and no real purpose?
Was that just to remind us that white people care more about animals than they do actual humans?
And just like I thought, I’ve seen more people talk about the raccoon, who yes I do love, other than questioning why the idea of kidnapping children needed to be a part of this story. More people seem to have a problem with the raccoon’s backstory, and treatment, than the children that were locked away to “create a new world”.
We’re talking about elementary-aged children, who I have to assume were ripped from their homes and families. Because where else would they have come from? The story doesn’t say of course. And it just furthers my annoyance that people can write stories to highlight harm brought upon children, without actually addressing the problem in any way.
So sadly, as much as I would love to look past this, I just can’t.
Outside of this storyline, the rest of the film is a decent watch, I guess.
Not as fun, or funny, as the latest Thor and Ant-man movies in my opinion. But it’s not a complete snooze fest. The ending is super emotional, and you may be brought to tears, depending on how much you love animals or not. There’s a gruesome scene that most will feel is a “deserved” consequence for someone’s dreadful behavior, but it’s probably one of the many moments that contributed to me feeling so dang distressed while watching this.
I mean this damn movie starts off with an incredibly violent scene that left me wondering how a film I thought would be about a fun, weird, bunch could be so traumatizing so early. And as time goes on, it only gets more bleak. There are a few humorous moments throughout, but not enough to increase morale or hope. Hell, the rainbow outfits were a cute touch, and Groot growing wings was super cool. But I mean that was it for me. Even the cinematography was annoying as hell.
I’m not sure why folks keep letting white folks write these colonizing ass stories. But I really don’t wanna watch them anymore! “Avatar The Way Of Water” was really enough for the rest of the decade! Like … we can pick another topic now you guys!
Someone once told me to rewrite movie descriptions because they thought they were funny, and if I were to write one for “Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3” it would be:
“Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3” is a beautiful, violent, world, that enlightens us on the great lengths white people would go through to save a pet, because he “feels like family”, while they turn a blind eye to those who treat actual people like shit.
And yes I know, they went back for the children! But that doesn’t make me feel any different.
All I can say is, I’m glad that it’s over. And hopefully, Marvel will continue to make the fun, loveable, outrageously silly films and tv shows with heart, that I do love. Because I was just starting to feel like I had a place in this world, and I’d hate for that to be stripped away after the last few years of joy these silly films have brought me.