So I watched Netflix’s new ‘thriller’ movie, Fatal Affair, yesterday and it brings me no great joy writing this review but someone has to do it right? I mean, if you read my Fatal Affair trailer review, then you know I had my doubts about this movie from the start.
But with a cast like Nia Long, Omar Epps, and Stephen Bishop I really was hoping this would be great! I guess not right. What’s ONE more disappointment in 2020? *rolls eyes*
Here’s My Fatal Affair Review
So if you’re still unfamiliar with Netflix’s new Black thriller, Fatal Affair is about a successful lawyer named Ellie (played by Nia Long) who moves to … hell, I have absolutely no freaking clue where they moved to!
(Did they even mention where they lived in the damn movie? Did I miss that? Lord!)
Listen … all I know is that they moved into a really nice house on a private beach and they were happy to get out of the city.
(Despite whatever town they were now in looking like the god damn city! Maybe she just worked in the city? Hell if I know!)
Anywho … you see how even the storyline is a tad sketchy? Great! Moving on.
So Ellie and her husband Marcus (played by Stephen Bishop foine ass) move into this new house, while their daughter is at college and that’s where things start off.
(Well actually it starts off way crazier than that, but you’ll see for yourself when you watch it. I’m definitely not spoiling that intro.)
But yeah, so one day Ellie goes into work at her law firm and boom they’ve hired her ‘old friend’ David (who’s played by Omar Epps unstabled crazy ass).
David and Ellie end up going out for a drink, yaddy yaddy yah, and boom …
… the stalker shit begins!
Now I know this probably sounds good, but Fatal Affair is an amateur thriller.
I’m no expert on thrillers because they scare me to death and I stay away from them at ALL costs 99% of the time.
However, this one just felt amateur. The impact of each scene didn’t hit the way they needed too and the music was meh.
But what really, REALLY bothered me was the makeup on the dead people.
You don’t realize how amazing the hair and makeup teams are until you encounter one that is terrible! (Remember them wigs in A Fall From Grace? I’m pretty sure that’s what came to mind just now, for good reasons!)
Well, that’s how I felt about the makeup in this. Them folks looked hurt … like fell on the floor and got bruised up a bit hurt, not dead!
And that really pissed me off because makeup is a big part of what makes thrillers so successful. (Says the girl who rarely ever watches thrillers. Yeah, yeah, I know, hush.)
But I mean … after watching Fatal Affair I can clearly see that makeup plays a big part in this genre! And if your dead people don’t look … well, um … DEAD … then guess what happens?
You have now made a Fatal Affair 2 (or a prequel, depending on what year your movie takes place). And no one wants that!
Not if it’s gonna look like this!
Even the wardrobe was trash!
How many times was my man Marcus gonna wear that same damn sweater?
I know rich folks don’t like to spend on fancy clothes, but damn, they were Black, I’m pretty sure my mans had at least a few other sweaters in his closet!
Did you not think we would notice?
And that’s the problem … first of all … if I even have time to notice someone else’s man in the same sweater more than once during a THRILLER movie, that’s a problem!
‘Cause that means either the movie is boring or super slow to the point where I’m staring and paying attention to other things.
OR the sweater bothered me SO damn much that I noticed it. Which one was it though?
I don’t know.
I’m lying, it’s both!
It was definitely both of those!
Then there were more weird distracting (aka horrible) plot lines.
Riddle me this.
Have you EVER gone on a date to a dinner and a MOVIE and then came home and made yo ass some microwave popcorn? Does that even make any kind of freaking sense to you?
Did you even go on this god damn date?
Was your date too cheap to purchase popcorn? Now I have all the questions and guess what? I’m distracted! AGAIN!
I was so damn annoyed by this I had to text someone like does this make sense? I didn’t even tell them it was a movie or what, I just needed to verify that I wasn’t crazy!
Sis coulda been in the kitchen for any other damn reason … grabbing some water and just sipping, thinking about how great her date was for one! (Cause who doesn’t do that?)
Next time ask me for ideas when you need to stretch a movie out. Know how many essays I wrote that were PAGES long, and ain’t say shit, but made a whole lot of sense?
I can stretch for days! Y’all couldn’t even make her being in the kitchen for 5 minutes make sense? *blinks in confuzzlement*
However, I will say … Ellie has a great husband.
And this part stood out for good reasons!
Not only did that man let his wife THRIVE, have her own business, didn’t belittle her when she decided to quit the firm or when he was hurt from whatever accident he had (again plot holes). He also didn’t catch a man fit when he found out about David. He was cool, calm, and collected! (Musta been that sweater he always wore. That gotta be what kept his ass so cool.)
Oh, AND he cooks!
All jokes aside though, I absolutely loved that they showed us what a great husband looks like. I mean, I don’t believe he was MAD because … he didn’t show it … and that could just be the bad acting in that scene.
I think I would have liked to see him be angry! Sis had a whole “affair” right? Show a little anger? But I do like that they talked about the “affair” and that instead of being angry about her … pause for dramatic effect … betrayal … he was more upset at the fact that she felt like she couldn’t talk to him about how she felt!
That’s what made me happy in this movie. Too often we see men up in arms about shit, and we almost never see a man calm when the wife makes a mistake. To see him talk about it so calmly was what we needed this year.
We need to normalize men being calm when they’ve been wronged, so that way men can see what a healthy relationship and communication when you’re mad looks like.
I also get that this is what this movie was really all about. A woman making a mistake and her husband showing her grace and still loving her despite it. So I truly, TRULY appreciate that narrative being in the spotlight. But unfortunately, everything else was so distracting, they may overshadow this one moment.
Overall, the Fatal Affair is a cheesy thriller movie, but it’s worth a watch on a slow, maybe rainy, boring day.
I’m not even sure if cheesy and thriller go together, but that’s what it felt like to me.
Fatal Affair could have really been great had it not been for those pesky ass kids! (And when I say kids, I mean all those little distracting moments – like the wardrobe, makeup, etc.)
This Netflix movie felt like it didn’t have much of a budget! (And you can’t tell me otherwise, because there ain’t no way in hell they made that man wear the same sweater over and over and they were rolling in dough.)
Oh, and I needed a plot twist! I pretty much predicted everything that was gonna happen next, which took some of the “fear” out.
And sadly, thrillers thrive on fear. They thrive on the audience not knowing what’s gonna happen next. That’s what’s supposed to make them fun to watch right? (Because that’s exactly why I hate them!) So if I wasn’t scared, then yeah … it wasn’t great!
But like I said … watch this on a rainy, boring day. And keep your expectations LOW.
P.s – Thanks for reading! Don’t forget to hit the share button below so your friends can read this awesome post as well. Comments are always appreciated and responded to. So gon’ and tell me how you REALLY feel! Thanks in advance! Now click around and read something else. Lol There are lots of suggestions below!